what the trending TikTok bruise filter prank says about being a woman today
the horrors are so real when you're a gurlie <3
Long are the days of the Snapchat dog face filter. Today, we’re talking about the TikTok bruise filter and the trending prank that accompanies it. Before we dive into it, I’d like to state that I personally am not a fan of the trend, as it trivializes domestic violence against women. But the mass behavior of this is worth unpacking.
How does it work?
Primarily women, selfie with the bruise filter, and send it to a man in their lives via text and wait for their reaction. They post the reactions, and the comments react to the man’s reaction. The women’s excuses for their bruises range from falling to being randomly punched by someone.
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In some videos, partners are enraged, passionate, and or confused, ready to come to their partner’s aid and defense, and questioning the who and what happened. Others feature delayed replies, no phone call, or not “seeming worried enough.” Those are green vs. red flags. A new litmus test for women to use and see if your man act like Kanye when a stranger sexually grabbed Bianca Censori.
The timing of the above trend feels very connected to the TikTok news cycle that started in late March, where women were punched in the face at random in NYC. These daylight attacks began at the end of March and occurred throughout April. So, the narrative that the prank entails is not unfounded AT ALL.
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The reality is that being a woman is living in a state of high alert. We can speculate on this trend, leaning towards the symbolism of reclaiming the fear and looking at it in the face. But we’re more likely desensitized to the truth that any woman could be next and turning into a twisted form of bandwagon humor.
Knowing that content can reflect our lives, our cultures, and our states of being, let’s look at a couple of other trends and formats that showcase what it’s like to be a woman in a modern world…
A common savable video format features pre-recorded audio for women to play out loud in rideshares. These videos act as faux phone calls for women to play “on speaker” to pretend that they have a group of friends or a tough-sounding man waiting and expecting them so they feel less alone and vulnerable in a rideshare. Yes, it’s terrifying for some women to get into a stranger’s car, especially when you think of stats that state from 2017-2018, there were 5,981 sexual assault incidents on Uber. 2019-2020 statistics represent a 38% increase from the number of sexual assault reports in the previous two years. And this doesn’t account for all the ride shares we can access.
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[Skip this paragraph if you don’t feel like reading about my personal story!]
I have experienced a scary rideshare experience. One late witching hour, I got into a vehicle that approached me, knowing I must have been waiting for an Uber, and declared, “Uber, right?”. I hopped in, assuming it was the one I ordered. My true Uber driver called me, asked where I was, and I said I got into the Uber already. He told me to get out of that car immediately because it’s not the right one. It was then I realized whoever was driving didn’t have the address of where I needed to go and was driving in the wrong direction. I kicked the man’s seat and screamed for him to let me out, and he finally let up and dropped me in the middle of a street in downtown Chicago. I’ve obviously learned to check the tags and always think of the “when your Uber driver doesn’t kill you” and the “being nice to my Uber driver so he doesn’t murder me” memes whenever I take a rideshare.
I digress. Let’s get back to the content breakdowns… :)
Another format that’s been popular in the past couple of weeks has been one of empowerment. It’s women staring men down aggressively when they’re faced with unsolicited creepy gazes from them. Many of these videos have gone viral, and the comment section is a place of validation, where women talk about it being so real daily, while others share their avoidance techniques. It’s a challenging force in the form of humor, but also is also a proof of more WTF MEN behavior that women have to put up with on the regular.
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Amid the bruise prank trend, there is an evergreen “joke” that romanticizes domestic violence that will circulate every now and then on TikTok, and it’s currently popping back up. It has a lo-fi beat with a rapper asking, “Do you love me baby?” accompanied by the text, “When the judge asks him if she wants the 2 years restraining order of 5 and they choose 2 years.” Pointing out the fact that the lesser order was picked, so there’s “still a chance.” The comment sections are filled with women saying things like, “Mine called me right after the restraining order asking me to meet him 😩” or laughing about how true this sentiment is and that they still live with theirs even with the restraining order.
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So next time we lol, cringe, and question these things that pop up on our FYP like this, we need to be conscious of the hidden truths that these trends and formats echo. They aren’t just content. They’re confessions from women everywhere, a collective scream for a change that is long overdue, reminders of what it’s like to live in a world ruled by men.
Now, let’s put on Crush by Ethel Cain–an anthem by Gen Z It Girl–which can be an entire essay topic in itself, as she sings “I owe you a black eye and two kisses” and do some doomscrolling.
Xoxo <3
the stare-down trend is great & immediately reminds me of a scene in Promising Young Woman where the main character stares down a bunch of construction workers who go from catcalling her to calling her a b*tch. men are abysmal